Do you obey by ‘The Rules‘?
24 years old.I am a relationship-ist.
Flings or one night stands are just not me (not because I don’t want them but because for some reason I have always preferred relationships.)
My longest was 3 years ‘on and off’ (note to anyone reading: on/off is an indecisive relationship most of the time one half is more interested in the relationship than the other, or sometimes it is both of the parties who are not ready to fully commit- either way on/off relationships hurt) It took me 3 years to find out that everytime they broke it off with me… they were cheating. I now go by the rule that if you are in a relationship and it is working-you are both committed to each other- than you will not run away and break up everytime there is a problem but fight through to see if you can make it to the other side.
I have had every relationship possible. I have been physically abused. Mentally abused. Cheated on. You name it I have experienced the worst and the best of relationships.Though I admit sometimes I find it hard to understand why I allowed myself to go through some of the experiences. Weirdly I would not change them for the world…why? Well I would not be the same person I am right now. I have gained strength and knowledge from my past. I now can help people who find themselves in the situations that I have been in and pass on what I know.
So here is a little secret that helped me along my bumpy road of relationships: ‘The Book of Rules’.
I am not the kind of person to advertise something that does not impress/work! I see people commenting on fitness programmes and telling the world how well they have done and how great the programme is. It is like they are advertising for the company. I am not like this. I am blunt. I will tell you what works for me and what doesn’t.
And this works……’The Complete Book of Rules’ by Ellen Fein!
The whole concept and style of the book is very American. The way it is written is as a self-help guide to finding and keeping Mr Right. It does not tell you what to do, it only makes suggestions and allows you to alter the way you are thinking. Instead of telling you to act in a specific way it explains to you why you are feeling the way you are.
I am quite an anxious person. I hated sitting at home or at work wondering if the guy I liked was going to text me, and if he was when would he? It started to drive me round the bend. That is when I turned to the Rules. I saw it randomly on a website and researched into it.
I was definitely cynical about the book. Not the kind of thing that I would normally turn but I decided to bite the bullet and give it a try.
It arrived….I began reading.
My first impression? It was not what I thought. I expected a lot of preaching. Though it was the opposite. By repeating certain phrases it managed to get into your head. Suggesting how you could benefit from feeling differently. It works to improve your confidence and your belief in yourself. It does not teach you how to get a man but it teaches you how to be open with yourself and confident in your own skin.
A mini book of confidence that you can bring with you everywhere-it has timeless advice and that is why the book has been around for so long. Yes updated additions have been created but it has survived for years giving the same advice to different women every day.
Of course it is not for everyone. Everyone is unique. However if you are having problems in dealing with your emotions or how you are thinking about relationships and men in general-than this book might just be your life saviour. Offering tips for how to mantain your emotions and wait for that allusive text from the guy of your dreams- right through to dealing with being in a relationship and mantaining a 50/50 balance between you and him.
It is a pick n mix of different suggestions and thoughts to keep with you. It is up to you which ones you choose to adapt to your lifestyle if any.
I too found that some parts of the book were not quite right for me, but the bits that were worked brilliantly. I even ended up highlighting the phrases the helped the most!
Definitely the best self help book I have ever come across. A big FOUR stars from me!
- Relationship Books To Help You Have The Marriage You Want (kuduelx.wordpress.com)
- Book review: Rewriting The Rules: An Integrative Guide to Love, Sex and Relationships (enfolding.org)
- Follow dating tips for women, if you are looking forward to a longer relationship (relationshipadvicecentre.wordpress.com)
- a Relationship (anonymous05user.wordpress.com)
- If you obey all… (poet4justicedotwordpressdotcom.wordpress.com)