The Walk of Shame..?

The Walk of Shame

This morning, as I am walking to work at 8.15, I walk past a couple dancing in the street.

Now it was definitely not a promo event to get people involved, as the pair were clearly all over the place and definitely not professional dancers.

I find myself entranced, not by the fact that they are dancing in the middle of the road at rush hour, but by the fact that they were still drunk and still out at 8 in the morning on a Wednesday!! Clearly still so innebriated they are completely unaware of the people around them-or if they are they are doing a very good job of ignoring passers by. The woman clearly confident from the alcohol in her system was constantly curtseying to the gentleman who could barely stand still for a second.

I have never really understood people still being that drunk at 8 in the morning-of course at university everyone was, but in the middle of London, whilst people are going to work and in the middle of the week, this was definitely a funny and unique incident. Possibly a pre-walk of shame-dance?

What is the ‘Walk of Shame’?

‘The Walk of Shame’ is a phrase used for someone walking home early in the morning, after going out the night before. Normally after a one-night-stand. 

How to pin-point someone doing the ‘Walk of Shame’?

  • Messy tied back hair
  • Make up left on from the night before
  • A rediculously tight dress that noone would think to wear in the daytime
  • Holding heels-because the feet are sore from the night before

Lastly and most notably:

The tired yet highly aware look in their eyes. Very conscious that they are embarrassing themselves as they try to ignore the stares of the people on their way to work!

Yet is the ‘Walk of Shame’ really just a reference to someone who has had a one night stand? Or are there a few different types of the ‘Walk of Shame’?

My answer is an enthusiastic YES-there are so many different types of THE walk.

Obviously you have the typical one (as described above) but here are a few more that you might not already have been aware of:

THE ‘DRUNK’ WALK

You are out on a night out, and losing track of time. Before you know it the sun is already coming up. You have been out from 10pm the night before to 6am. You leave the club and find yourself still drunk outside-normally there are a few of you-the stragglers- as you look around you start to take into account the people walking past you. Staring. You begin the DRUNK walk of shame. 

The ‘Drunk’ Walk is the most common type, it tends to happen when you have an all-nighter and are still out the next day in the morning. Instead of the embarrassed look on your face you tend to still be drunk. Introducing the giggling and potential ‘being sick’ moments that you have to endure on your journey home.

THE ‘EMOTIONAL’ WALK

On a night out with a few mates, due to the amount of alcohol you have drunk, you end up having a little argument, either with a friend or a lover. Happens more often than you could imagine. You start making your way outside the club more often to try and find a quiet area to sort out the argument. Eventually the emotional tirade unleashes. After the argument you are left with two or three people or more all sitting on the edge of the pavement crying their eyes out. One of them or a few will always walk off and enter onto the emotional walk of shame. 

This is noticeable in the early hours of the morning when you see a girl walking home crying her eyes out. Blotched face and make up all over the place, very stand offish, and will not accept any kind of help even if you offer. Occasionally you may hear outbursts of shouting as she drunkenly argues on the phone.

THE ‘FLIRT’ WALK

This happens in the early morning after leaving a club. If a girl/guy is feeling particularly in need of company due to their drunk state of mind. They will hit on everything even stationary objects. These are the people who will try flirting with you even if it is 6 in the morning. There is nothing they will not do: whistle, shout and touch are all apart of the flirt walk. 

The flirt walk tends to happen if one person feels like the rest of the group have succeeded in ‘pulling’ that night. Suddenly they are highly aware of the fact that they are on their own, resulting in them flirting with everyone and trying to find something to keep them company for the few hours that they remain drunk.

THE ‘ANGRY’ WALK

You are on a night out with the girls/lads and someone starts to annoy you, either in your group or in the club. As you get more drunk this person starts to aggravate you even more. Eventually you convince yourself that this person has got it in for you. The more alcohol you consume, you start to build up more confidence to go over, and confront them. As you reach the point where you are going to explode you unleash all your anger and run over. 

Normally a fight will incur and the result will be one 0f you being thrown out of the club. This is when the ‘fight’ walk begins. Normally still high on the adrenaline of beginning a fight and not finishing it- this person will be angry to a max. Wanting to start fights with everyone-depending on how confident they are, they will either start trying to pick fights with bus drivers or commuters on their way home.

THE ‘ECSTATIC’ WALK

You are a happy drunk. Every drink that you have makes life get better. You start to admire the beauty of the place as well as the people around you. 

These are the people who will be skipping along the road or running around and dancing on their own. Laughing at everything they will look like they are on drugs but actually they are on the drug: ‘heightened happiness due to alcohol’. As the alcohol starts to wear off they will begin to get quieter and more serene.

THE ‘LOVE’ WALK 

After a very drunken night, you find yourself in a very amorous mood and leave with someone. The walk home consists of endless flirting and kissing, making the journey twice as long as it normally would be. 

This is the pre-walk of shame before the actual walk of shame described at the beginning. This is where early in the morning the lovers are so drunk that they are unaware of their overly amorous actions in front of people on their way to work. So the incident this morning was definitely this type of walk. 

The ‘walk of shame’ is unfortunately something we all do, whether it is late at night or early in the morning. Depending on your emotions and the way drink affects you normally you will fit into one of the above categories. Unless you are T-Toal and then you can spend your entire night laughing at everyone around you and trying to guess which ‘walk’ they fit into.

 

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