So having decided that this week is going to be the week where I approach different, potentially sensitive, topics about relationships and share my point of view and basically break them down.
This being my 100th post I thought I would take you through the Most Common Relationship questions/situations that are hard to work your head around. Using my experience I will try and give you advice or at least a point of view on how to approach it. Perhaps even prevent you from making the same mistakes that I have!
How do I attract the type of person I want?
Well firstly make sure that he has not got a girlfriend or boyfriend and is showing some signs of interest in you, this could be anything from occasionally speaking to you-looking at you all the time. From there it is easy, dress yourself up and feel good about you. How good you look and feel will emulate over to him and make you more attractive. If there is a particular type of person that you want to attract, you may have to make a special effort to go to somewhere that you know that that type would hang out. For example: If you know that you like a business type of guy then the best place to go would be in the city to a posh bar after work, on the other hand if you like guys that are into their music then maybe go to a venue that is known for live bands.
Do not be clingy and do not text all the time. Play it cool but at the same time do not play any games-men hate games!!
What are keys to a good long term relationship?
There are no “keys” to be honest, all relationships are different. As long as you appreciate the other person then there is little that you can do to make the relationship longer. The only piece of advice that I have carried with me all my life that my mum said to me when I had my first ever break up: the best thing in a relationship is to be 50-50. Not you 90% into him and him 10%. You have to be the same level and care about each other to the same extent otherwise the relationship might not last or if it does then you are bound to be miserable.
How do you keep a long distance relationship?
Here is one for any budding students about to head off to Uni! Yes a very resounding yes- you can do a long distance relationship, it will be hard of course, but if you are both keen to give it a go than there is no reason why it will not work. I had a boyfriend until my third year of Uni. The only thing I would say is that if you are a little worried about him cheating or you get jealous easily then it is going to be alot harder for you than someone who is not jealous at all. But as long as you are both aware of the kinds of difficulties that can arise then it will be easy.
“There is a Mr. Right and a Mr. Right Now!”
So this means that ultimately you are going to find the perfect man and the person you will spend a long time with and get married and have kids with. However the ‘Mr. Right Now’ is normally an explanation or reasoning behind being in a relationship that you know is not going to last, an explanation for you to just have fun. You do not even need to be in a relationship with ‘Mr. Right Now’ they might just be a friend with benefits.
Yes there are women out there who can cope with the-no strings attached kind of friendship/romance-but most people experience it once and never want to repeat it again.Your ‘Mr Right Now’ could be a one night stand with a guy on a night out, which honestly you will probably regret the next morning. If you do not and you decide to have a purely sexual understanding, occasionally what happens is one of the people involved will start to have feelings deeper than they initially intended. Un-requited love then occurs and becomes agony for all parties involved.
Honestly I have had a few experiences that relate to the above and I do not regret them-they were very painful to handle though, at least for the time that you are in a relationship there is a mutual liking of each other. However when you are with the guy because it seems right at the time there will always be someone that gets hurt.
Yes I believe that when you are young you should experiment with having different types of relationships, but I also believe the older you get, the harder it becomes to keep yourself from getting hurt. If you are young the chances are you will fall in and out of love very quickly with raging hormones all over the place. The common misperception is that the older you get the wiser you become and therefore you become much better at dealing with these situations-this is partially true. You do become wiser as you mature, but it also means that when you have feelings for someone they are not just fleeting and therefore much harder to handle.
What are guys looking for in relationships? Is it dependant on the age they are or how they are bought up etc?
There are three types of men in my opinion in regards to relationships:
The ‘settle down’ type
This the type of guy who tends to get into a long term relationship whilst at High School or University. Even if he does not end up with the long term girlfriend, you know that due to his commitment and ability to have a long relationship, he is probably going to get married earlyish in his life. He will have the typical family life, with a wife and a few kids.
The ‘Worker’ type
The typical ‘work hard and play hard’ gentlemen. They will be nice and approachable but they are not ready to settle down, they are instead enjoying life. The gym is where they spend most of their free time, well either there or drinking with the other guys they work with. They tend to be the kind of type that will go out with quite a few of the girls that they work with. But they will never be together too long that it would border on anything serious. Chances are they will either be bachelors until they are much older or they will get tied down into a marriage accidentally.
The ‘Immature’ type
These are the guys that tend to make their way through all kinds of relationships in order to find the right person. They will have 3 month ones and 12 month ones. Laid back with everything including work. They will be married by 30’s with the right girl-in their mind- or the right one for that point in time. Probably likely to go off the rails in their 40’s and have a mid-life crisis.
The three types of men indicate what kind of guy you can come across in your mid-twenties. They are much more mature than when they were teenagers, however there are only a few men who actually look actively for marriage. Yet us girls all convince ourselves that it is our fault if they do not want to settle down, or that we are just not doing something right. The truth is that most guys actually have a different take on relationships.
If you are with a guy and suddenly you find out that they have cheated or have been sleeping with an ex, would you stay and commit yourself to working it out or would you get out immediately? Is it different when you are married?
Yes it is different when you are married, because the moment the relationship starts to affect other people you have to think about what is the right decision for the majority. On the other hand if it is poisonous two other people being together than that is something else that you will have to negotiate. However if you are in a relationship then it is a different process that you go through. I personally would like to believe that having had the experience I have I would leave immediately. But you never really know what decision you are going to make until you are in that position. Noone can make the right answer pop into your head because the truth is there is no right answer just your answer.
- Can long distance relationships work? (misswoe.wordpress.com)
- Long distance relationship (herwordshisfashion.wordpress.com)
- Stronger bonds often formed in long-distance relationships compared to face-to-face relationships (medicalnewstoday.com)
- Thoughts on long distance relationships (conniewindsor.wordpress.com)
- Long-distance relationships can form stronger bonds than face-to-face ones (psypost.org)
- On Dating (discovryproject.wordpress.com)
- Is the trend towards the thirty-something marriage making us happier? (jojesstan.wordpress.com)
- Long Distance Relationships: Bolder and Healthier Than Closer Ones? (guardianlv.com)
- Passion vs. Dedication: What’s More Important In A Relationship? (thefishybowl.wordpress.com)
- A Better Way To Look at “Failed” Relationships (psychologytoday.com)