If there is two things I have learnt from this weekend it is the following:

When items are on a shelf they are ON DISPLAY.

NEVER go by FOOT to Ikea on a SATURDAY, near CHRISTMAS.

You might as well sign a death wish there and then.

Unless you are planning on having a Swedish Christmas it is probably not the best place to go Christmas Shopping at. Trying to get Christmas Tree lights turned out to be the worst nightmare in the world, because of course Sweden apparently don’t do simple. Not only are the lights in shapes but they are also on a metre length bit of wire that barely covers one branch of a tree let alone the whole thing. Obviously you have red and white lights but the red are RED (we are talking sexy boudoir in the middle of the tacky part of Amsterdam RED). I am actually scared to put them up in the kitchen just in case we get a load of horny men knocking at the door thinking that it is the new mini red light district.

Do Swedish people not get drunk???

I walked past several very inviting trollies with wine bottles in them, which as soon as you got near to you could see in bold writing on the very unsubtle label: NON-ALCOHOLIC written on them in bold. Perhaps it is the alcoholic in me that wished that people would put only the alcoholic drink in wine bottles, but for some reason I craved the wine bottle to hold wine not apple juice, even if it is sparkling-I DON’T CARE-add a bit of vodka and there would be several in my trolley. It might also have something to do with the fact that I was in a family orientated store for home furnishings not an Off Licence but is it to much to hope that a wine bottle would hold the stuff that it is so famous for, not a fake representative. 

So why was it such a nightmare apart from the Fake Wine and the Boudoir Lights? 

Whilst I am quickly shortcutting my way around the ikea departments trying to avoid the screaming kids and unforgiving parents, I came across the candles department-Heaven! As I went to the shelf I noticed a really lovely vase that would be lovely with the candle inside it and some pouporri (only since i started living away from home I have turned into a pouporri, candle loving freak that is obsessed with making the home look nice). So you come across the ideal vase and of course all the others around it are gone. Or so I think, so instead of thinking about it I grab the vase and put it in the trolley. As I get to the checkout I realise that both the candle and the vase did not have price tags on them. I ask one of the assistants and they look at me with a very weird expression before saying very blankly “These are display items, they are not for sale”. As I go bright red I try and explain that I did not realise that they were on display. To which the guy replies “It is normally a given when they are positioned on a shelf as a part of one of our display scenes. Of course it is only at this point that you have a flash backs of the rest of the room and the dining table that the vase had been on, all decorated as if part of a proper family home. 

I had stolen a vase from a display that was so obvious to the human eye. They probably had me on camera stealing the vase. With my tail between my legs I had trapse through the departments in the opposite direction in order to put the vase back and pick up one from the actual place it belonged. 

I certainly will not be going back there for a while not only because the embarrasment is going to last for at least two months but also because i made the stupid decision to go via public transport thinking that I would be less likely to spend if I knew i had to walk home carrying it-I was very wrong. I am now nearly armless (I may be exaggerating slightly but I will not put myself in that pain again-at least not for a while!)


3 thoughts on “IKEA NIGHTMARE

  1. Ha! I love wandering around Ikea, but I steer clear of the place mid-November, until after the holidays. Even during the year, I won’t go more than an hour after opening. It’s hell on Saturdays.

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