99 Boyfriends and 1 Problem…. You?
For as long as I can remember my mental age has always struggled to come to compare with my physical age. With my hair in a very tight pony tail and a face of no make up, leggings with tiny strategic holes dotted about the place- not quite large enough to achieve the “material girl mess” Madonna always portrayed and yet not tiny enough to fit into the Chelsea resident- esque look, add on a dress two sizes to big due to the lack of confidence about my own body and that is me. Not quite a train wreck but on the verge! Blessed fortunately with baby looks so young that people often mistake me for a sixteen year old girl skiving school- that is until I open my mouth and the aristocraticly accent confused sound blurts out. Confusion in abundance. And a multiple personality on the external that makes people fall in love instantly and just as quickly truly despise you, but an internal side devoted to caring about others and being nice in abundance- the two rarely met in harmony!
When I make an effort and straighten the overly long thick hair and apply a thick face of make up with some innapropriate items of clothing, I can sometimes pass for somewhat attractive.
So why have I always been destined to end up in the wrong relationship? And trust me the accumulation of several over a few years has assured me that as much as I try to blame my choosing skills on going for the wrong type, the truth is I don’t have a type I go for everything in the book: from tattooed weed smoking emotional wrecks, Cambridge graduate posh talking twats to bald headed builders who secretly had a passion for ballet dance (you could not make this stuff up- and no unfortunately Billy Elliot the builder did not have the starry eyed effect on me) so what was my problem? Surely one of these guys would be the “mr right”?